I think I have an assignment for the folks at Merriam-Webster for the next edition of their dictionary. What is a word for a general manager that gave two-year contract extensions to players who both should’ve been dealt at last season’s trade deadline, but now finds himself needing to get rid of them to clear up a logjam on his roster? For now, let’s just call this particular GM by his given name, Jim Bowden.

The Washington Nationals’ general manager signed first baseman Dmitri Young and second baseman Ronnie Belliard last season as presumed one-year stopgaps for the injured Nick Johnson and Cristian Guzman. And both acquisitions were good ones. Young revitalized his career after nearly destroying it in Detroit, hitting .320/.378/.491 with 14 home runs and 74 RBIs. For that effort, he was the Nats’ lone All-Star representative and was named the National League Comeback Player of the Year. Belliard didn’t win any awards for his efforts, but hitting .290/.332/.427 with 11 home runs and 58 RBIs (along with only six errors at second base), nicely outperformed the minor-league deal Bowden signed him to in Spring Training.

Though I’m sure the Nats were grateful to Young and Belliard making meaningful contributions to what turned out to be a fourth-place (73-89) team in the NL East, Bowden initially admitted that he signed both players with the idea that they could be dealt for prospects in mid-season. This is from the same guy who traded for Alfonso Soriano in his walk year of 2006 and ended up keeping him for the entire season, only to watch him sign with the Chicago Cubs. But Washington received compensatory draft picks from the Cubs, so you can’t say Bowden didn’t get anything in return.

Since that worked so well for him the previous season, Bowden decided to take a similar approach with Young and Belliard, declining to move either player when he had the opportunity. But he wasn’t going to just repeat himself, either. No, just keeping these two players wasn’t going to be enough. The Washington Nationals were going to make a commitment. A financial investment, more specifically. Young was signed for $10 million, while Belliard agreed to a $3.5 million deal. Both contracts were two-year agreements - reached before the July 31 trade deadline.

Oh, you might say, Bowden was trying to protect himself in case neither Johnson nor Guzman recovered from their injuries. Okay, fair enough - especially since Johnson is a notoriously slow healer. And even if Johnson came back, Young could move to the outfield. Or not. They don’t call him “Da Meat Hook” because he has the lithe physique of a swimmer. First base was made for guys built like D.Y.

But Guzman was likely to return from his left thumb injury and was signed through this season, while Felipe Lopez had one more year of arbitration with the Nats. Neither player was going anywhere.

So that brings us to the Nationals’ current roster dilemma. Too many healthy players, not enough open roster spots. And Lopez has already made it quite clear that he has no intention of giving up a starting position.

“Bench?” López said Tuesday following a 9-1 thumping of the Detroit Tigers. “No. I already said that. No. Hell, no.”

Belliard, meanwhile, says he’s fine with whatever the team decides. But he might have been fanning himself with his two-year contract while saying that. Belliard is also being paid like a bench player, a role in which he happens to perform quite well, while Guzman and Lopez will draw paychecks exceeding $4 million. Given that Lopez could become a free agent after the season, he’d seem to be an ideal trade candidate. At least he might be if he were playing for any other general manager besides Bowden. No, he’ll probably hang onto Lopez. Maybe he’ll work out a contract extension, as well.

Did I mention that Bowden also signed Bret Boone - who had been retired for two years - shortly before Spring Training began?

Following Prince Fielder’s still-baffling (at least to me) admission that he intends to compete at the major league level of baseball without eating meat comes the revelation (via Big League Stew) that Minnesota Twins reliever Pat Neshek is a vegan. That would give Neshek the conversational upper hand over Roger Clemens at cocktail parties or Congressional , by the way.

Clemens, you might remember, was asked by Representative Bruce Braley of Iowa if he was a vegan, as that would be a reason for taking B-12 shots. Clemens said he didn’t know what a vegan was. Maybe Neshek can drop some knowledge on ol’ Rog, along with a box of Boca Burgers. (I actually think the Morningstar vegan burgers are better, if that’s how you really have to go with your food choices. My dear vegetarian friend, Mis Hooz, had those in her freezer, and they got us through a Sunday night of watching TV quite well. Quick tip: pickle slices helped tremendously.)

After breaking down at the end of last season, Neshek decided a change in his conditioning and diet would keep him strong this year. His wife’s cooking has helped him with the no-eating-meat part for now, but how difficult will it be to stick to that lifestyle when the Twins are on the road? I wondered the same thing when I read about Fielder’s conversion. What happens when the Brewers take a road trip? Never mind that he’ll be playing baseball in the land of the bratwurst. Maybe his wife, Chanel, will pack a copy of Skinny Bitch - the book which convinced Prince that meat was too gross to eat - along with his luggage.

I don’t think I would’ve revealed that particular reading choice to the public. (Neshek probably could’ve gotten away with it, since he throws sidearm, which we all know means you’re a weirdo.) Of course, when you hit 50 home runs, you can probably admit whatever you’d like. Except taking steroids, that is.

Today’s New York Times had an interesting story by Alan Schwarz about R.A. Dickey, who’s now floating his knuckleball in the Seattle Mariners organization. He spent last season on the Brewers’ Triple-A farm club, but found himself with the Mariners after they selected him in the Rule 5 draft from Minnesota. Since Dickey would have to be offered back to the Twins if he was sent down, he has a decent shot at staying on Seattle’s major league roster this year.

Anyway, that’s hardly what’s intriguing about the man’s story. His right elbow is the curiosity. It’s lacking an ulnar collateral ligament, which is the problematic piece of tissue that pitchers have been known to blow out, requiring a repair procedure that’s come to be known as Tommy John surgery. This makes Dickey a medical anomaly, as doctors wonder how he’s able to perform simple tasks like turn a doorknob, let alone throw a baseball.

Even more engrossing is how the abnormality was discovered. Dickey was a first-round draft of the Texas Rangers, and a team doctor noticed something strange about the way his arm was hanging by his side in a Baseball America cover photo. (An image of the cover is included with the NYT article, if you click over.) The Rangers examined him again, and ended up reducing their contract offer by more than $750,000. 12 years later, and now with a knuckleball in his arsenal, Dickey’s still throwing that baseball and should be a part of the Mariners’ bullpen this season.

And up until this point, I thought the most fascinating thing about Dickey was that he gave up six home runs in a game against the Detroit Tigers back in 2006.

I uncovered this. Man, does that look strange.

Sometimes I surprise myself with the things I remember that I forgot. Honestly that wasn’t a poor attempt at homespun Yogi Berra quote.

A couple of years ago I went to see the Diamondbacks play the Marlins at Chase Field and saw blast from the past Bobby Meacham coaching third base for the Marlins. What was it about him, I asked myself, that I remember (or didn’t in this case) about his tumultuous stay in the Bronx?

Today Bill Madden answered the question:

[O]n Aug. 4, 1984, when both Meacham and Dale Berra were tagged out at home by the White Sox’s Carlton Fisk. For the record, the Yankee third base coach that night was Gene Michael, who was more than happy on Sunday to explain how it all transpired.

“It wasn’t Bobby’s fault. It wasn’t my fault,” Michael said. “It was just one of those freak things. Rickey (Henderson) hit a ball into left-center that looked like it might drop. Bobby was on second, and Dale on first. Bobby held up briefly at second and then starts coming to third. But Dale was running head down, all the way, and he’s right behind Bobby coming into third. I know we’re gonna have a situation where there’s two men on third, so I wave Bobby home. Since there’s gonna be an out, it might as well be at the plate. But I couldn’t stop Dale! Through the years, I’ve always told the story that, as I ran off the field, Fisk tagged me, too.”

“All I know is that when ‘Stick’ sent me home, I tried to knock the ball loose from Fisk,” said Meacham, “and then I hear the crowd yell again and I say: ‘Wait a minute, he (Berra) didn’t? Yes, he did!’”

You must read the whole article to find out why Madden describes Bobby Meacham thusly: A Yankee for parts of five seasons, from 1983-88, he was subjected to some of the imperious and impulsive owner’s most notorious indignities.

Apparently Diamondbacks CEO Jeff Moorad likes what he sees out of team president Derrick Hall and GM Josh Byrnes — enough to give them both eight-year contract extensions.

Byrnes has cultivated a winner in his short time with the Diamondbacks, though, as Buster Olney points out today [$], he did have a sweet crop of talent awaiting him in Phoenix:

Byrnes took the baton of work handed off by former scouting director Mike Rizzo and has pushed the Diamondbacks’ climb upward, to the top of the National League West last season.

Fueled by the Dan Haren trade — and the tentative return of a, well, tentative Randy Johnson — Arizona’s brimming with optimism.

Now if only they could cultivate a fan base.

I haven’t seen a game there in person, but from television, Tropicana Field in Tampa appears to be the most unappealing ballpark experience in the major leagues. With its concrete exterior and interior, and catwalks suspended above the field, the Trop looks to have all the ambiance of a nuclear power plant. It doesn’t exactly provide the warm summer evening surroundings that many of us romantically associate with baseball.

But that might be changing, if the Rays’ $450 million proposal for a new ballpark goes through. Not only would the stadium have a waterfront location that would give it one of most distinct locales in the major leagues, but the structure would also have a retractable roof that would allow the field to remain an open-air environment. When in use, the roof - which would be translucent, by the way - would resemble a sail. I think the structure as a whole actually looks rather space age in design.

You can view a gallery of the design images at the St. Petersburg Times website. Let’s hope the city of Tampa and the Rays can make this happen, because such a ballpark would be a jewel for the sport, and a must-see destination for baseball fans around the country.

(via Big League Stew)

I’ve always liked Mike Hampton and thought it was far more gutsy a move for him to sign with the Rockies (in 2001 for 8 years and $121 million) than Denny Neagle.

I thought it was all going to workout fine when he tossed an 8-0 Opening Day gem…at Coors Field. Alas…

Fast forward to 2008. After two years on the shelf, Hampton is attempting to bounce back — once and for all — with the Braves.

[T]he 35-year-old Hampton is back on the mound, trying to show in the early days of spring training that he’s still got a little something left in that scarred-up pitching arm.

“I’ve been preparing for this day since the day after the surgery,” Hampton said. “I’m excited.”

For the record, he’s referring to last year’s operation on his balky left elbow, the one that cut short Hampton Comeback, Version 2007. At that time, he was coming off Tommy John surgery, which replaced the ligament in his elbow and cost him the ‘06 season. When the pain returned, he went back under the knife for a torn flexor tendon.

Another season gone.

I’m hoping the same won’t be said about 2008 for Hampton.

I prefer to blame it on a foggy-brained Monday morning and not my advancing age. When I saw this headline today — Nixon auditions for Arizona, other MLB clubs at D-backs’ camp — my first thought was: Otis Nixon is trying out for the Diamondbacks?!

Not quite.

Veteran outfielder Trot Nixon, still hoping to latch on with a big-league club as a free agent, auditioned for the Arizona Diamondbacks at the team’s spring training complex in Tucson on Sunday.

- snip -

Arizona opened up Nixon’s workout so other interested teams could take a look. Toronto, Seattle and the Los Angeles Dodgers all had scouts on hand to watch him.

More coffee…

On The Daily Fungo recently, I wrote about former big-league pitcher and Detroit-area native Lary Sorensen’s most recent dance with the bottle.

When Roseville, Mich., police found Sorensen asleep on the side of I-696 two weeks ago, his blood-alcohol level was .48.

The Detroit News‘ Neal Rubin takes a closer look at how that’s even possible. According to an expert:

[T]he alcohol in Sorensen’s system represented 24 drinks.

That’s two dozen beers, shots, 5-ounce glasses of wine, or some combination thereof. And we also know this: That’s only what was left in his system when he was treated at St. John Macomb Hospital for alcohol poisoning.

He had actually guzzled even more.

On the list of times to say “Don’t try this at home,” this is near the top. Many people would be unconscious by the time they hit .35. About half the population would be dead by .48.

Keep in mind, Rubin writes, “the legal standard for drunk driving convictions is .08.”

I always liked Sorensen, mainly for hometown reasons. He played baseball in the same high school conference I did — granted, 10 years before me — and he was the first player I remember making it to the big leagues from our general part of the Detroit area.

I liked him, too, when he was a Tigers radio voice.

Few people will hear his voice over the next 22 months as he settles back in the clink. With six DUIs on his record, who knows what will become of Lary Sorensen when he gets out.